Tweens

    Being a preteen is difficult enough as you emerge from childhood and look down the road towards being a teen—your voice has started to change, your breasts are developing, hair is springing up all over and suddenly you're starting to discover you're sexually interested in the people around you.

    This is all very normal and expected. But what if you've realized that not only do you think Dave and Rick are divine looking but you also think Melody is a total babe and you wouldn't mind spending some time snogging any of them? Are you gay? Are you a lesbian? Are you bisexual? Is there something wrong with you?

    First, there's definitely nothing wrong with you. You very well could be bisexual. But just because you like girls and guys doesn't necessarily mean you're bisexual either. It could be a phase you're going through and when it passes you'll find you're straight, or you may find that your lesbian or gay. Many preteens and teens explore their sexuality with their same sex friends but do not consider themselves to be bisexual, lesbian or gay — they're just trying things out with someone they feel safe/comfortable with.

    How do you figure it out? When do you tell your parents? Or your friends? Who should you tell? Who shouldn't you tell? What do you do if your friends or classmates aren't as open-minded as you are and have a problem with your being bisexual? What if you have a crush on someone of the same gender but they're not bisexual? Do bisexuals date gay or lesbians?

    The first thing you should do is read through the information found on the sites in our resource section or some of the books in our bookstore. There's a lot of great information out there. If you're still confused, there are support groups that can help, either online or perhaps your school has a Gay Straight Alliance-type group that offers support to those who are questioning or have come out and working with non-gay, lesbian or bisexual students to create a safe, accepting environment.

    Once you have found some answers and gotten informed, you can think about telling a close friend who would be understanding and accepting or an perhaps an adult like a parent or guidance counselor. You don't have to tell everyone, especially if your school or friends are not going to be supportive and accepting. You also don't have to act on your feelings. I was in my late 20s when I kissed my first girl. That doesn't mean you have to wait until then but it does mean that you shouldn't date or be intimiate with someone until you're ready, whether it is a guy or a girl.